The five stages of the mentoring relationship
All mentoring relationships go through some form of evolution, often referred to as the mentoring cycle or phases of the mentoring relationship. David Clutterbuck, author and thought leader on the subject of coaching and mentoring, suggests that developmental relationships transition through five phases: rapport building, direction setting, progress making, winding down, and moving on.
The beginning of the mentoring relationship is characterised by two phases: rapport building and direction setting.
In the first phase is the rapport building stage, where the mentee and mentor engage in dialogue to understand if they can work productively together. Rapport is dependent upon several factors as outlined in the book “Mentoring in Action’ by Megginson et al (2006):
- the perception of alignment and values, especially at a personal level
- the degree of mutual respect
- broad agreement on the purpose of the relationship
- broad agreement on the purpose of the relationships
- alignment of both expectations about roles and behaviours
Developing a high degree of rapport is essential in ensuring the positive development of the mentoring relationship.
The second phase is the setting direction stage. This involves setting goals, giving the relationship a sense of purpose, and working out what the short-term, medium-term, and long-term direction might be.
Potentially, phases one and two can be accomplished in a few meetings at the beginning of the relationship.
The third phase is often referred to as the progression stage. The intensity of learning for both the mentee and mentor is greatest during this period of the relationship.
Effective mentors will be responsive to the needs of mentees and help focus the mentee on developing solutions during their mentoring meetings, for example by:
- establishing a relaxed, yet business-like atmosphere
- gaining consensus on the purpose of the meeting
- exploring the issues from the mentee perspective
- clarifying the situation, challenging assumptions and stimulating analysis whilst draw on own experience
- building the confidence the mentee
- fully exploring the options available to the mentee
- recapping and facilitating the mutual agreement of actions by both partners
- summarising
- offering an outline for the agenda of the next meeting
During this stage, the mentee will grow in confidence, independence and autonomy developing the self-insight and skills to address their own needs.
The fourth phase is known as the winding down stage. Here the mentee and mentor plan to close the relationship by reviewing and celebrating what has been achieved.
The fifth and final stage is known as the moving on stage. This involves reformulating the relationship, whereby the mentee and mentor close the formal mentoring relationship and may move on to become friends and colleagues.
Questions to consider:
Reflecting on the summary above, think about a time when you have developed a positive rapport with a mentee, mentor or colleague:
- What were the signs of a positive rapport?
- What contributed to building positive rapport?
- How can you use your knowledge of building rapport in your mentoring relationship?
- How might you and your mentee/mentor structure a mentoring meeting?
- What steps can you take to raise your and your mentee's/mentor's awareness of the transition points in your relationship?
- What questions might you explore in the ‘winding down’ or ‘moving on’ stage in the mentoring relationship?
- How might you recognise the learning that has taken place in the mentoring relationship?